Roman Kemp has opened up about planning to end his own life during a particularly dark period in 2019.
Best known for his stints on I'm a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! and Celebrity Gogglebox with his famous dad Martin Kemp, the 30 year old is now a regular co-presenter on The One Show too.
While promoting his mental health awareness BBC Three documentary The Fight for Young Lives on the latest podcast series of Big Fish with Spencer Matthews, Roman was asked if he'd ever attempted suicide.
"I've got as close as planning it out," he confirmed, to which the podcaster, 35, replied: "What stopped you and what in your opinion led you to want to make that decision?"
"So, I did a very silly thing, I've always been on anti-depressants in my life and that's just my own personal thing, that's my own personal journey with it, that's what I do. And I went through a phase of trying to battle against it and I messed around with them, I misused them, I didn't take them when I should have taken them," Roman answered.
"I would have periods where I came off it because I didn't want the control over my life, is what I thought. And it sent me into real big, heavy depression and anxiety and it culminated in me having what I would deem a mental breakdown and I had completely planned out on this day, what I would do."
The TV star, who has also worked at Capital FM since 2017, went on to recall how this unfolded around two months prior to his I'm A Celebrity participation.
"I had planned it out and I just remember I was sat in my house and I was crying… and then all of a sudden my mum called me and she heard instantly.
"My parents have always been very aware of my battles with mental health but never to this state. Then my mum was clearly buying time because I could hear her in the background getting in the car and then passing on the phone to my sister and then they both kept me on the phone until they came to my house," continued Roman.
"But to be honest, that whole day just became a blur and it's the same thing when you have a mental breakdown like that, you can't remember much, everything just gets too much, too heavy. Every voice that tells you you're not good enough is in there saying you're not good enough, end it, life's not going to be good for you."
This comes after he told The Diary of a CEO podcast last year: "I was worrying about stuff that wasn't even logical. I can't describe what my brain was telling me. Anything that could have been a problem in my head, was a problem.
"You're thinking you look bad, you've not done this, your tax bill, are you ever going to do this… loads of voices. At that point I thought, 'I don't know what to do'. The only thing I could think of was, 'OK, I'll take my own life. That's the only way to stop this.'"
Listen to the full interview on the Big Fish with Spencer Matthews podcast on Global Player now.
If you've been affected by any of the issues in this story you can contact Samaritans in the UK and Ireland on freephone 116 123, or [email protected] [email protected].
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