DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I decided to kickstart our sex life by having a threesome with another man.
It did the trick — we’re having loads of sex again. The problem is, I feel guilty and worry that I enjoyed it too much.
I’m 38 and my wife is 36. We’ve been married for 11 years.
A couple of years ago, the intimate side of our relationship ground to a halt. I was stressed at work and just didn’t get sexually excited any more.
I still fancied my wife, but I couldn’t rise to the occasion.
It caused lots of tension and upset, and I worried our relationship was doomed.
Then my wife suggested we try a threesome with another guy. It had always been a fantasy of hers. I am open-minded, so I agreed and we found someone online.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
I was nervous beforehand — worried I would be jealous or unable to perform. But the opposite happened.
It was so exciting that I got the most turned on I had been in years.
To my surprise, I found the other man’s body really arousing.
And watching him make love with my wife was even more of a thrill.
We didn’t have sex, but he touched me while I was having sex with my wife, and I liked it.
I touched him too.
Since then, my wife and I have been having the best sex of our relationship.
She has no idea that each time we do it, I fantasise about the other guy.
I have never had any interest in men, but I’m starting to wonder if I might be gay or bisexual.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEAR DEIDRE
I broke my ex-lover’s heart, now he blames his life-threatening diagnosis on me
DEIDRE'S STORIES
Oliver's girlfriend is sick of lending him money
DEIDRE SAYS: When a couple’s sex life grows stale, introducing a novel element can reinvigorate it.
While I would never recommend a threesome as a solution – they are too fraught with risks – having one does seem to have done the trick for your marriage.
You are now having lots of sex again, which makes both you and your wife happy.
However, the downside is you are also questioning your sexuality.
Try not to label yourself. Many people see sexuality as something fluid.
It’s likely that it’s the thought of the thrilling, subversive sex that turns you on, rather than the man himself.
Had you had the threesome with a woman instead, you might be feeling the same way.
If you are worried about this, read my support pack, Bisexual Questions, and contact one of the organisations listed in it for advice.
Another one of my support packs Thinking About A Threesome might also be helpful for you.
Most read in Dear Deidre
Oliver’s girlfriend is sick of lending him money
My girlfriend can’t keep a job and it’s ruining our relationship
My biggest sexual fantasy is a threesome but girlfriend won’t consider it
I wake up every day fearing my husband will stray because of his past
Source: Read Full Article