{"id":240940,"date":"2023-11-15T09:39:31","date_gmt":"2023-11-15T09:39:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lovemainstream.com\/?p=240940"},"modified":"2023-11-15T09:39:31","modified_gmt":"2023-11-15T09:39:31","slug":"how-long-have-you-got-what-not-to-say-to-a-cancer-patient","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lovemainstream.com\/lifestyle\/how-long-have-you-got-what-not-to-say-to-a-cancer-patient\/","title":{"rendered":"How long have you got? – What not to say to a cancer patient"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\u201cHow long do you have left?\u201d and \u201cmy dog died of cancer\u201d were among the remarks recorded by Teenage Cancer Trust.<\/p>\n

Teens and young adults have shared their experiences with the charity for its What Not To Say campaign.<\/p>\n

The trust is highlighting topics to avoid, including asking when someone is going to die, talking about \u00adrelatives that died of cancer or speculating about how a person first developed the disease.<\/p>\n

Maddy Elleby, 18, from Farnham, Surrey, was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma two years ago.<\/p>\n

She said some people were \u201cso \u00addesperate to relate that they told me their dog had died of cancer, or their granny, or their cousin\u2019s neighbour\u201d.<\/p>\n

Sophie Angell, 17, from Southwell, Notts, was \u00addiagnosed with leukaemia aged 13. She said: \u201cAt the start of my diagnosis, a friend made a comment about palm oil, saying that I got cancer because I had previously eaten Nutella.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooking back, it seems absurd, and it came from a lack of understanding. They didn\u2019t know that childhood cancers are very rarely lifestyle-induced. Another time, a peer at school said that I got cancer because I didn\u2019t believe in God. I felt blamed for something out of my control.\u201d<\/p>\n

Other no-go topics include talking about how a patient\u2019s appearance has changed or whether they wear a wig, and telling young patients they are brave. A survey for the \u00adcharity found saying nothing could also be hurtful, with 55% of young sufferers finding that some friends did not contact them as often after their diagnosis.<\/p>\n

Amy Harding, director of services at Teenage Cancer Trust, said: \u201cPeople can feel awkward talking about cancer and blurting out the wrong thing, but it\u2019s so important to stay in touch.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom simple things like staying connected by sending messages or asking someone if they want to talk, we shouldn\u2019t underestimate how much the little things we say or do can make a difference to people going through a tough time.\u201d<\/p>\n