DEAR DEIDRE: I LET down my lover by choosing to stay with my long-term partner. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Now he says he has cancer and it\u2019s due to the stress I have caused him.<\/p>\n

He is 53, I\u2019m 50 and we were together for just over a year.<\/p>\n

We met at the gym and soon started confiding in each other about our failing relationships.<\/p>\n

We would go for a drink after our workout and found solace in each other. <\/p>\n

The sex was intense and I really felt a strong connection to him. <\/p>\n

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team<\/h3>\n

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.<\/p>\n

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.<\/p>\n

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We spent months sneaking around, planning our lives together.<\/p>\n

But then my partner of 20 years, who is 54, really started making an effort with me. <\/p>\n

Previously I had felt completely neglected and overlooked by him.<\/p>\n

He even took me away for a wonderful weekend and I began to remember all the good things about him, like his love of nature and his kindness.<\/p>\n

I knew on that weekend I would stay and make the most of the relationship.<\/p>\n

My decision did not go down well with my lover, but initially he said he respected it.<\/p>\n

That was until he started to harass me with text messages. <\/p>\n

He begged me to give him a second chance, and although I turned him down each time, the messages kept coming.<\/p>\n

I eventually blocked him and cut off contact. I hadn\u2019t heard from him for months until I got a phone call from an unknown number.<\/p>\n

It was him. He told me he\u2019d been diagnosed with cancer and it was all my fault. <\/p>\n

He said the stress I\u2019d caused him had affected his health.<\/p>\n

I know I\u2019m not to blame, but I feel awful and can\u2019t stop thinking of it.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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DEIDRE SAYS:\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>You aren\u2019t to blame for this. It\u2019s not surprising it upset you.<\/p>\n

This man is hurting after your break-up and no doubt his long-term relationship is floundering. <\/p>\n

That, along with his health issues, will leave him feeling that his life is spiralling out of control.<\/p>\n

He is lashing out at you because he wants to make you feel guilty.<\/p>\n

It would be best not to entertain him. <\/p>\n

He clearly wants some kind of reaction and it\u2019s better to take a step back. <\/p>\n

My support pack Feeling Guilty will help.<\/p>\n

While you understandably feel bad, as you once cared for him deeply, the reality is there is nothing you can do to help him.<\/p>\n

Instead, focus on your marriage and moving forward.<\/p>\n

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Source: Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DEAR DEIDRE: I LET down my lover by choosing to stay with my long-term partner. Now he says he has cancer and it\u2019s due to the stress I have caused…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":237291,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n